That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
