She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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