Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
