Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Randomize