my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Randomize
