pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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