OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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