I just saw a homeless guy on rollerblades; I don't think I've ever felt sorrier for someone in my life.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
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