She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
Randomize