She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
