Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I made out with a guy dressed as the pdx airport carpet.
Portlandia didn't prepare you for that?
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize