this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
