so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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