you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
Randomize
