I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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