Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
