did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
Randomize
