Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
Randomize