I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
Randomize
