I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
