I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
