Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Randomize
