I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
