New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
