Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
