remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
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