Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I ate the last cupcake. I'm sorry. It was in the refrigerator mocking me. So I ate it. And it was glorious. But I'm sorry.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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