you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
