wanna go halves on a baby?
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Randomize
