You're my little dorito
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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