I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
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