I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
Just saw a woman trying to order Mcdonalds at a trash can. God bless America.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
