You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
someone made her a trophy at 4 in the morning and presented it to her in the bathtub
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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