Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Randomize
