Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
