two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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