I'm eating all of the evidence.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
Randomize
