He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
he fucked my hip out of place.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
