Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
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