By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
