Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize