the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
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