see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
