Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
someone put bongwater in my humidifier again THIS NEEDS TO STOP
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
I asked my mom if I was the drunkest one in the room. With 8 days till I go back to school, I couldn't care less about being shitfaced at a baptism
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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