very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
"DO YOU LIKE FLYING KITES" WORKED AS A PICKUP LINE. SUCK IT.
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
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