Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
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