oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
