You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
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