smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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