Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
