Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
Randomize
