once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
