We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
