Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
