We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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