bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
