What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
I'm at home, drinking with my cat. While this is an enjoyable lifestyle, other plans are preferable.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
