Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
