Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize