They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
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