How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
How do I tell if what I'm covered in is pee or cum?
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize
