Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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