chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
the thing I didn't realize I would miss about college is that at home you can't just dismiss your sex bruises as drunk accidents
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
