I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
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