everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
Randomize
