dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Randomize
