its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.
I love you and want you to know that you're the best friend ever and me lassoing you with a seatbelt was out of sheer affection.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
