it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
