i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
I have post one night stand depression
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
