ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
