just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
