it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Randomize
